this reflection is based on my experiences, understanding and observation. dont laugh because you may think this is ridiculous or silly or stupid and whatever.
so, it begins with my-so called brand new-age. twenty. yes, I'll never see another number one on my first age number. it is now two. but I'm not the one with number two on its age. there are billions in general. and the thing is, my friends too. they are aging, growing up, all of people in this world does. but aging doesnt always come up with maturity, I think. and maturity needs change.
and my point is, I feel like everyone's changing except me. I'm still me.
my friends has grown up. they are become more mature, more elegant, more beautiful and more like a woman. they have their own make up kit, they can put mascara and eyeliner right, take care of their looks, they wear dress and even skirt, they used to the pain from high heels, they have cute bags, they can manage their appearance, they read good magazines, they cook well like a master, they go to salon, they have pretty shoes, they wear accessories, and many many many more things.
compared to me ?
I have a make up kit -if I can call it make up kit because its content just a powder, lip balm and eyebrow pencil- I seldom use, I cant put mascara and eyeliner right, I rarely take care of my looks because I think what's best is simple looks, I have dress and skirt I wear occasionally because I think those are for a formal event, I have only one high heels and I always complain about the pain I have to bear so I wear them only for a formal event, I dont have cute bags and cant decide how cute bags are and moreover I think I cant wear cute bags because I dont have cute clothes to match up, I cant manage my appearance and the reasons are all above, I dont read magazines I read manga and newspaper, I'm still trying to be a master for cooking while I have this symptoms of short term memories, I went to salon just for cutting my hair not for a beauty treatment, I dont have pretty shoes I have a sneakers and a pair of normal shoes, I dont wear accessories except wristwatch.
that's pretty much a contrast.
I met my friend in a mall when she wore a mini dress, high heels, cute bag and make up.
and there was me with sandals, poor jeans, t-shirt, poor bag from centuries ago and no make up.
she was that awesome and I was awful.
this twenty years old girl still in her seventeen.
she'll try to be normal like anyone else in their twenties.
maybe she just got her identity crisis.
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