stranger

I did not know what I was thinking
but strangers knew this feeling
I entrusted them with my secret and grievance
let them go and brought those emotions

should strangers come again
I will tell 'em about rain
how long the clouds hold back
and thunder follows the water attack

me trying to take my mood back for writing by whining about life

I figured it out just now that my life has been demanding too much. And I have been too naive to realized. I let my routine bitten me up, shut me down and drowned me out. I am no longer who I was back then, which I long too much now.
I am no longer capable for what I was. While something inside me keeps telling me that everybody else are moving so fast, I am here mourning about my incapacity for growing. Oh, and blaming my life. What a pity I am. Oh, yes, I am now good at mocking my self. And do nothing about it.

Yes.
I'm making my self more miserable.
Haha.

brace yourself, swift and kloss are coming

I JUST CANT. I CANT STAND THEIR CUTENESSES

precisely

perfectly lonely

the world is still revolving,

things are happening,

there's no time for waiting

or delaying.

I'm staying still, 

watching, listening, wondering,

but there's no chance for talking,

or sharing.

everybody's moving,

changing,

and keep walking.

efek samping

Tolerance (noun)

A condition, stemming from continual utilization of a drug, marked by a significant lessened impact with regular use of the same dosage of the drug or via a need to up the dosage significantly over time to reach the same favored impact. 

Tolerance is one of the two prime symptoms of physical dependence on a drug, the other being a characteristic withdrawal syndrome.

retrieved from psychologydictionary.org

ternyata

found out today,

I still can't stand by myself.

not yet.

hey soul sister

your lipstik stains
on the front lobe of my left side brains
I knew I wouldnt forget you
and so I went and let you blow my mind

your sweet moonbeam
the smell of you in every single dream I dream
I knew when we collided,
you're the one I have decided who's one of my kind

hey soul sister
aint that mister mister on the radio, stereo
the way you move aint fair you know
hey soul sister
I dont wanna miss a single thing you do
tonight

just in time
I'm so glad you have a one track mind like me
you gave my life direction
a game show love connection we cant deny

I'm so obsessed,
my heart is bound to beat right out my untrimmed chest
I believe in you, like a virgin you're Madonna
and I'm always gonna wanna blow your mind

"can anybody help me with these exit wounds?"

aku lelah harus terus menyelesaikan semuanya sendiri. ku kira dalam hidup ini aku bisa minta orang lain membantuku menemukan jawaban dari setiap pertanyaan yang harus ku selesaikan.

aku kehilangan kepercayaan bahkan pada diriku sendiri. saat aku tak lagi mampu menentukan pilihan, karena tak mau menerima konsekuensi.

boleh tidak, kalau aku memilih untuk diam?

tapi kata orang dunia ini berputar. kata orang waktu terus berjalan.
aku bukan siapa-siapa sehingga dunia harus berhenti dan waktu mau menunggu.

tapi,
aku sungguh mempertanyakan. boleh tidak, kalau aku memilih untuk diam?
setidaknya untuk saat ini. membiarkan diriku punya ruang sendiri.

membiarkan diriku perlahan memahami.
apa yang selama ini aku cari.
hal apa yang masih ku takuti.

boleh?

Eva's Point

How deep could a love affair get if you didn’t know the darkest recesses of your lover’s soul? That was the dilemma I’d faced with Gideon.

“That’s the problem, Gideon. I want to know who you are, the good and the bad, and you want to keep parts of yourself hidden from me. If you don’t open up, we’re going to lose each other down the road and I won’t be able to take it"

He pulled back, his face set in fierce lines. “We’ll never be over, Eva.” I looked at him, my heart aching like an open wound at how beautiful he was, how broken and in pain he was—pain I’d caused to some degree.